June 8, 2010 § 2 Comments
I haven’t done this in a while…and it’s noticable. Since coming back from tour I’ve noticed a few things about myself. I have back-slide. I just had a cigarette on my roof outside my room and I realized that not even 4 months ago I was a very different person. My heart remains the same, but my actions say otherwise. God forgive me.
This is for myself:
I feel the following.
-That I’m expected to smoke
-That I’m not worth loving
-I’m merely used in order to get to other people
-I will never find a wife
-That I’m allowed to lead women on
-Swearing is acceptable
-I do not need to read the Bible
-I do not need to go to Church
-I cannot be an example
-That I don’t need to pray.
All of these are lies. Dear God I have forgotten what it means to be a Christian. Lies have penetrated deep under my skin and I am forcing myself to let You in again. Take control of these hands for they know not what they do. God I am giving my life back to You.
We all fall down, please Father pick me back up. In Your Holy Son’s Name.