October 31, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about which of my friends are really my friends. This has been a very hard subject for me to sit and think through logically. Although, when talking about relationships logic is almost never really brought into the picture unless something is going terribly wrong. I have a good group of friends down here in Vancouver. But….how many of those friends care enough to call me up for a coffee. Or invite me out to just hang out. This seems so trivial. But it’s the effort that counts. Now, I know that the longer you are friends with somebody and the initial time sunk into them pays off and there is not so much a need for that anymore. But in a growing relationship I firmly believe there is. I have put that effort in and rarely it seems is it received. Call me young, call me impressionable. But I think I am a pretty damn good person to have on a persons list. People that I really care about, or just want to get to know better I generally will stick my neck out for them just to make sure they are having a good time. Do I care to much about relationships? Do I have it all wrong? Has social networking websites like facebook, or myspace completely screwed the way a real relationship is supposed to happen? Maybe I’m supposed to be alone right now. Only have my 3 or 4 close friends and occasionally allow other people in. This is hard. I have people I consider to be mentors that are I would really love it if they could see how much I want to, and need to learn from them. But maybe it could also be that I don’t need that kind of leadership anymore. Maybe I’m ready to start to change on my own.