Mother Father

July 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

If you could read the warning signs you would pick me up and hold me.
I wish you were here to tell me I’m ok. I miss you.

I know i’m a 24 year old man now and I shouldn’t be afraid of the monsters underneath my bed.

But they still scare me. They keep me up.

Chase them away. Please.

I’ve been drowning myself in alcohol hoping to forget how to feel. Women are destroying me…or I’m destroying them, either way I’ve lost my innocence.

I’m caught in that trap called “one day”. I’m caught in that trap of “not yet”. Dear God I wish I could sleep. Sitting here watching pixels is the closest thing I have to a lullaby.

I understand a lot more. I’m looking further ahead. I’m getting stronger but I’m ashamed to show it. I like dying every night to much. I need a cigarette. But I’m too broke to buy them. So instead I’ll sit here…thinking all the same but not killing myself. Those tiny white soldiers have made camp inside. It’s only a matter of time before they take over.

Sally made a move, Sally caught a smile, Sally made a spark, Sally made me feel again, Sally seems to be losing interest…fuck Sally.

I think I need to toughen up again. Get that whole positive thing going again. Done. Peace!

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